Thirty, Flirty* and Driving!

*to my husband only 🙂

Yup, I’ve turned 30. Like Jennifer Garner’s character Jenna in one of my favorite rom-com movies, 13 Going on 30. 🙂 I’m now “Thirty, Flirty (just to my husband, of course 😉 ) and Driving!” 🙂 Driving?! 😀 Well, I learned how to drive a few months before my 30th so I consider it a success and a milestone because it means independence! 🙂 (Wait, am I 30 or 18? 😀 ). Independence from constantly bugging, pleading and using all my charm to my husband for him to drive me to some place or event I wanted to go to that he totally doesn’t care about. Places and things like bazaars and shopping and other mommyhood-related stuff. 🙂 So being able to drive is a big deal for me now that I’m 30. Haha!

Kidding aside, I, in reality, am driving to my thirtyhood: a lifestage that, for me, is a monumental chapter in someone’s life, a new leg to travel in his/her life journey. And my driving has brought me at the entry point to the next phase of adulthood where much bigger responsibilities, challenges and decisions to be made await. It’s also a “check point” to ponder on and evaluate the goals and plans one has made on his/her career, finances, lovelife among others and check them against reality. It’s an opportunity as well to revisit the path taken and contemplate on what, why and how he/she has travelled his/her way to the gates of being 30.

The pacing and speed of driving and the routes to take going to this stage of life vary and are dependent to the “driver”. Someone single may prioritize his or her career and work as hard as he/she can to speed away and reach a certain status or destination by the time he/she turns 30. Or he/she may prefer to wander around and enjoy every moment of the ride by doing the things that makes him/her happy. This can also be a stage where he/she considers financial stability as a priority to ensure a smooth travel ahead. He/she may also find thirtyhood as the dead end of singleness so the anxiety to find “the one” creeps in.

For a married person like me, entering 30 is a totally different ride. The travel is no longer just by himself/herself, there are “passengers” that accompany and they are called his/her family. The passengers/family becomes the priority. Their safety and needs are taken into a large consideration in choosing the destination and the routes to take. Major decisions on finances, children’s education, acquiring properties, settling, parenting and other huge responsibilities are carefully thought of as they would impact the entire family.

Personally, I used to be worried and anxious about turning 30. I felt that I wasn’t prepared to travel towards this age especially when it comes to the financial aspect. My savings were never enough. I spend more than I save. And looking at the timelines I’ve set to achieve my goals, I think that I’m behind schedule. When I compare myself to people I know my age, I couldn’t help but feel doubtful of my own abilities to accomplish my aspirations.

Then there’s also this mental battle in my head on whether I should quit the corporate world to focus on nurturing our little family or pursue my career to reach the goals I’ve set even when I was still single and at the same time help my husband with our finances. I wanted to get a master’s degree (but I don’t have money. haha!) and get promoted as fast as I can. (Millenial, eh? Haha! 🙂 ). But pursuing this will require me my precious time which I cannot trade because I have my own family to take care of. At the same time, I see my children grow up each day and I wonder what would their character be like had I be the one spending every moment of each day that they explore, learn and develop.

Further, the challenges and responsibilities of being a wife and a mom overwhelm me. These are lifetime jobs and I wasn’t even sure if I was doing any of them right. My heart was filled with doubts. Am I being a good wife to my husband? Am I raising my kids well? What would my kids be like when they grow up? Does my husband think I am being a good mom to my kids? Am I doing the right thing when it comes to being a wife and parenting and building a family? Thinking about the answers to these questions gives butterflies in my stomach because I can’t pause time to catch up the things I have missed and re-do those that I’ve done wrong.

The 20-something woman that I was kept on “driving” my own life bearing all these anxieties and uncertainties in my heart. But somewhere along the road, Someone hailed me and offered to take the wheel. I remembered I wasn’t alone in my journey and Jesus is there to accompany me. So I let Him drive my life and all the worries banished and were replaced with the love, comfort, peace and security from God. These sweet promises of the Lord are more than enough for me to hold on:

I’m not sure where the Lord will take me as I continue with my journey. Will I continue to be a working mom? Or leave my corporate job and become a full-time home maker? Will I be able to get a master’s degree? Have our own business? I have no idea. But one thing I’m sure of: God knows the way and for as long as He is my “driver”, I and my future are safe and secure. All I need to to do is to put my trust in Him.

I’m 30 and I face my thirtyhood with a worry-free heart full of gratefulness and joy. 🙂 I thank the Lord for the never-ending love that He constantly shows me through the years. For giving me an amazing husband who shower me with so much love. For blessing us with adorable kids who give us so much joy. For surrounding me with family and friends who love and care about me.

My 30th birthday celebration in Tagaytay with the loves of my life 🙂

Here I am! Thirty, Flirty (with disclaimer 🙂 ) and Driving! 🙂

driving

Photo taken by my friend, Raissa on my birthday.

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10 thoughts on “Thirty, Flirty* and Driving!

  1. momsykulitz18 says:

    We all had that doubts and scary moments on thinking if we are mature enough to face that stage.. let us think it’s just a number and probably one of the best numbers we can ever experience… watching our kids grow..witnessing their milestones.. questions they will ask us but being careful to answer…. I’m also in my 30s plus 7 hahaha…. the decade where I experience the ultimate happiness..having kids..let’s just cherish every moment dear.. less worries (“,)

    Like

    • Gwynna says:

      Thank you for dropping by! 🙂 Totally agree with what you said. It’s just a number. 🙂 but it’s a joyful number because of the blessing of experiencing being a mom to our wonderful kids. 🙂

      Like

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